an encounter with a mug dealer

So (as always) I woke up this morning and realized I had nothing done for the blog posts due tonight. What’s new, though? So in my 11:00am barely-alive haze, I frantically emailed the entire Austin / San Marcos craigslist community in search of something worth writing about.

My friend Hillary was in search of a microwave considering she had two before she sold one and the other caught on fire, so I asked a few people about that. For my own vain purposes, I was in search of a very large mirror so I could just look at myself in all my glory. Both of us like a quick dollar, so I also tried to email a Russian guy about cleaning a very large house for $200 per person. On all ends, I came up quite empty-handed.

However, I did go on a whim and inquire about a pair of beautiful antique playboy mugs.

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We arranged to meet at 4:30. But because I am the person that I am, things turned sour and I didn’t end up leaving until 4:20. This put me at an arrival of 5:00pm. For whatever reason the guy didn’t want to prolong the transaction for that long, so I had to agree to 4:45.

This is where it got a little messy, as per usual.

On our way up to Austin on good ole’ I-35, I look to my right and instead of the standard man holding onto a steering wheel, I find a man holding onto his literal penis. Oh my god. Hillary’s natural reaction is simply to flash her tits at the guy; I would honestly do the same thing if I was in her place. This turned out to not be the best idea considering he kept up with us and made eye contact at every possible opportunity, hand on his wiener all the while.

While that was going down, this was also happening:

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I have a habit of avoiding confrontation and just not texting back, but Hillary saved the day and this blog post by simply being a decent human being and texting him back. Wow, what a notion.

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So we pull up at our designated meeting spot at Chase Bank, and he pulls up a few minutes later and I give him the money.

That’s literally it.

We mozy on down to Windy Point after this and drink a questionable concoction from the beautiful mugs, and I gift Hillary for tagging along by giving her the matching mug afterward.

I really want to do something little crazier than this than just little things like mugs and ride shares, but you know how it is. I only have a few more weeks until the semester is over and I can do as I please, so keep following along. Stay sketchy, folks.

All screen grabs courtesy of craigslist and Alex Easley. Featured image by Alex Easley. 

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